Why Leauge, Why?

League of Legends, I can't believe how immersed I am with this game.  I think I have a lot of patience, and this game takes it all away.  I've been playing for about 5 years, and I never make it out of the fucking shitty bracket.  The MMR thinks you lose some, and pairs you up with super toxic players, and your ruined day is born.  I don't understand why about 75% of my games are so negative, and even if they're not... There is no teamwork.

I am so angry I want to put my face through the monitor.  I'm that self destructive.  This makes me so angry, I would literally punch and headbutt walls.  However, because I am not insane, I will not do that.  How many times do people blame each other? Why is it that on this game, people bring their worst, and are never open to any new ideas.  I can't even have fun trying out new/reworked characters.  Because now, the game is not about being fun and working as a team anymore... The game is about just seeing the visual upgrades for me.  They expect all their employees to be at a certain level... I am not even good enough to attain that goal.  What the fuck... I have invested way too much of my time in this game with no returns... I coudln't even fucking get a job here if I wanted to... But I do have the skills... Just not enough skills where they would even consider me as an important part of the community.  I guess I'm one of those faceless fucking jackasses that just dump money and never get anything in return for it.  I am so sad that I never have any fucking results to display for the hard work and hours I put in.

My friends are another problem. They think that a) I don't put enough hours in and I complain about the shitty caliber of players, or b) They are better than me, and constantly rub it in my face.  Everything about this game makes me angry, and yet it's the only connection I have left with my CLOSEST friends. I fucking hate life.

I'm a sad, angry, and negative gamer.  I'm usually not that way.  Games are supposed to make you happy, but because you get so involved in your hobbies, sometimes it loses the fun and becomes a part of yourself.  Now, normally I'm not a very angry person, but due to the nature of something that I may have some more control of, emotions can run high.  Thus, I decided to create a blog detailing my anger and frustration with my favorite hobbies.  I hope you all enjoy the small quips of negativity that I have. Thanks for lending me your reading eyes and curious minds.